Cadet Kelly

I have an issue.
One of many.
I have a problem of deciphering dreams from reality.  No one understands when I say that.  It's always "How can you not tell what your dream was?  It's a dream."  Yes, it was a dream, but that doesn't make it any less real that every day life.  I live in this dream world all the time. I don't know how to describe it, but it's me.  I will imagine these complex situations before I go to bed and it'll seem so real, and transfer into my actual dreams.  When I wake up, I feel as though some of the things have happened.  I'm always worried about the things that I will come out of my mouth, because I'm afraid they happened in my dream world.  Don't get me wrong, I love my dream world.  Dream me is kick ass.  She takes charge and doesn't let things get to her.  She always is in control and she is so damn sexy.  I love dream me - but she scares me at the same time.  My whole made up world scares me.  No one knows about it, no one knows what goes on in it, no one actually knows what I go through.  I want to connect with people, but they physically cannot.  They can't reach into my dream world and interact with me.  It's half of my life.  Half of my life that no one knows what goes on, or rather no one asks me what goes on.
...
I need to make an adjustment to my perfect husband.
He will understand my odd behaviors, and embrace the shit out of them.

In other news, I missed out on an aids party at the Gay 90's.  This week's danger: foam party.  Narrowly avoided that one.  I do not see how that party would be fun, I wouldn't be able to see, and when we left the club, we'd all be dying in the below freezing weather.  No.  No thank you.

I want my boobs now.  I want to be thin now.  I want to take charge of my life now.