I had almost forgotten about this blog, until Condor said he was making a new blog post. I thought to myself "HOLY BALLS. I haven't written anything since this summer!" ... maybe? I don't know.
Why does life keep changing? I don't think I have had one piece in my life that I have been able to say "that has stayed the exact same way since .. whenever" Life is hard. Life doesn't make exceptions. Life is a bitch.
What I actually want to talk about in this blog is my future outlook:
Living in a quaint home with a fabulous husband. One that is strong inside and out. Who can pick me up when I am down. One who will also help me with bills, not just the paying part, but the figuring out how to go about and pay them. One who will hang Christmas lights outside with me in the winter, or scare the living daylights out of preteen hooligans on Halloween. One that will bake with me in our underwear for fun, or lounge on the couch watching Adult Swim at two in the morning. One that when the lights go out and I scream bloody murder will grab my hand and tell me things will be fine - that he's here for me. One that will go in with me to buy a puppy. Someone I can grow old with and not care that my skin is sagging, or my hearing is going, or that I can no longer lift heavy things. My next door neighbors will be Connor and Loreena. Across the street from me will be Rosie, and behind Katarina, so we will share backyards. My sister will be somewhere in the neighborhood, but not right next to me, or we would get the police called on us for the crazy shenanigans we would be caught doing - either that or for screaming at each other through our windows. I will be an occupational therapist, helping people return to their every day lives. My husband and I will host nerf wars at our house. And when the time comes, and all my friends are married with kids (yes, even you Connor. you better have kids, because I'm not sure I want any, but if I do - you have to too) I will have my first kid as well, and he or she will play in the streets and all throughout the neighborhood with my best friend's children. I will be thin. I know for a fact I won't have the breasts that I want, but I know I will be thin, because that's what I want. And not the thin society tells me, but the thin where I feel comfortable in my own skin. I want this life. This is my future.
And my future is bright. I just need to find a way to complete all of this. But I know one thing for sure, Connor will always be by my side, every step of the way.
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